Oh Alicia, thank you for commenting! Your words mean a lot to me. I TOTALLY relate to that mix of pride and longing—wanting to be independent but also craving that sense of belonging. And yes, it’s both comforting and heartbreaking to realize how many of us carried (and sometimes still carry) those insecurities, shaping ourselves around what we thought we should be. I hope that by sharing these stories, we realize we were not alone (no matter what the circumstance). I love that we can have these conversations now, peeling back the layers and reclaiming our worth on our own terms. I’m so grateful you’re here, and I can’t wait to share more with you! ❤️
This is an amazing and honest piece about how we all absorb things that probably don't really serve us every well. It wasn't until after my divorce that someone said out loud, "The man is not the plan." By then I had two children and had spent nine years out of the workforce. For me, all ended well eventually, but wow, I wish I had your insights when I was young. I certainly would have slowed down. I would not have believed I was washed up at 25 because I wasn't engaged. Ridiculous! Subscribed and can't wait to read more.
Patty, thank you so much for sharing this! “The man is not the plan”—wow, that’s a phrase that needs to be shouted from the rooftops!! It’s wild how deeply those messages get ingrained, making us believe there’s some invisible deadline for our worth. I’m so glad things worked out for you in the end, but I also completely understand that feeling of wishing you had known sooner. The good news is you get to model something different for your kids now. I’m so grateful to have you here—thank you for subscribing!!!
And here's me cheering Rebecca for putting it right out there. But then, I was never ever going to rushed. Not sorority material, not me. No, I was never going to play stupid and insipidly sweet for some guy. Well, written post
This is so well written (all your posts are) and soooo relatable. I wasn't sorority material in college (wasn't really girlfriend material either) and while I loudly and proudly identified as a GDI, I secretly longed for the sisterhood and acceptance that sororities seemed to represent. It's both comforting and sad to learn that you were as insecure as I was. We all believed that we had to be all the things that men wanted (but not say it out loud!) or we were worth nothing. Thank you for sharing your story. I look forward to further chapters!
Kasomba, this means so much—thank you! I love that my writing felt like a deep conversation because that’s exactly what I hope to create: a space where we can connect, reflect, and dive into the real stuff. I’m so grateful for your kind words and support. Truly, it means the world. ❤️
Wow, well articulated and insightful! Umm, toxic males love the thought of having a "trophy wife", and their consciousness fills the air of our culture. It is hard not to breathe it.
Bruce, thank you so much! And wow—what a powerful way to put it. That air is everywhere, and so many of us have been breathing it in without even realizing. Unlearning those deeply ingrained messages, especially around a woman’s worth being tied to how she looks or what she provides for a man, is hard but so necessary. I appreciate your insight so much—this is exactly the kind of conversation we need to be having! 💛
This needed to be spoken out loud. You are a brave woman to do so. Some will...will...um...not like this at all because it challenges them to admit that the default expectations that our society places covertly in front of women are designed to keep us in our place. To keep us from filling roles that many feel are only designed for men. To keep us in line. Thanks for putting this out there.
This is so great. I love reading your articles! College feels like a lifetime ago, but your writing takes me right back. I always thought I wanted to be in a sorority, until I did the spring "informal" rush. The one I liked most and they liked me back (ha! Remember that feeling?!) did not like my best friend who was rushing with me. They also served such meager amounts of food for dinner, so I couldn't imagine having to eat there! And look at me now, writing about food & eating behavior.
Divorcing from that lifestyle this winter at the grand old age of 54 is the hardest thing I have ever done, but I am learning to be strong. The man and the money don’t equal happiness.
Tina, you are incredibly BRAVE, and I have so much respect for you!! Walking away from a life you’ve known—especially one that the world tells us should make us happy—is no small thing. Be proud of yourself and give yourself time. It takes so much strength to choose yourself, your peace, and your true happiness over comfort or expectation. I hope you’re giving yourself so much grace in this process. You are learning, growing, and becoming even stronger every day. Sending you so much love as you navigate this new chapter! ❤️
Oh Alicia, thank you for commenting! Your words mean a lot to me. I TOTALLY relate to that mix of pride and longing—wanting to be independent but also craving that sense of belonging. And yes, it’s both comforting and heartbreaking to realize how many of us carried (and sometimes still carry) those insecurities, shaping ourselves around what we thought we should be. I hope that by sharing these stories, we realize we were not alone (no matter what the circumstance). I love that we can have these conversations now, peeling back the layers and reclaiming our worth on our own terms. I’m so grateful you’re here, and I can’t wait to share more with you! ❤️
This is an amazing and honest piece about how we all absorb things that probably don't really serve us every well. It wasn't until after my divorce that someone said out loud, "The man is not the plan." By then I had two children and had spent nine years out of the workforce. For me, all ended well eventually, but wow, I wish I had your insights when I was young. I certainly would have slowed down. I would not have believed I was washed up at 25 because I wasn't engaged. Ridiculous! Subscribed and can't wait to read more.
Patty, thank you so much for sharing this! “The man is not the plan”—wow, that’s a phrase that needs to be shouted from the rooftops!! It’s wild how deeply those messages get ingrained, making us believe there’s some invisible deadline for our worth. I’m so glad things worked out for you in the end, but I also completely understand that feeling of wishing you had known sooner. The good news is you get to model something different for your kids now. I’m so grateful to have you here—thank you for subscribing!!!
And here's me cheering Rebecca for putting it right out there. But then, I was never ever going to rushed. Not sorority material, not me. No, I was never going to play stupid and insipidly sweet for some guy. Well, written post
You and Rebecca were wiser (& braver) than most of us!!!!
This is so well written (all your posts are) and soooo relatable. I wasn't sorority material in college (wasn't really girlfriend material either) and while I loudly and proudly identified as a GDI, I secretly longed for the sisterhood and acceptance that sororities seemed to represent. It's both comforting and sad to learn that you were as insecure as I was. We all believed that we had to be all the things that men wanted (but not say it out loud!) or we were worth nothing. Thank you for sharing your story. I look forward to further chapters!
Well, reading your article was like engaging in a very deep conversation with someone.
So conversational. So excellent.
So perfect.
Although not a lady, your writing style, Miss Sarah-Frances, is a real turn-on.
Call it a page-turner.
Can't appreciate you enough.
But thanks.
Kasomba, this means so much—thank you! I love that my writing felt like a deep conversation because that’s exactly what I hope to create: a space where we can connect, reflect, and dive into the real stuff. I’m so grateful for your kind words and support. Truly, it means the world. ❤️
Great read, Sarah! Thanks for sharing.
Thank you, sweet Kayla!!! I am SO grateful that you are reading my work!! Hope all is going well for you!
Wow, well articulated and insightful! Umm, toxic males love the thought of having a "trophy wife", and their consciousness fills the air of our culture. It is hard not to breathe it.
Bruce, thank you so much! And wow—what a powerful way to put it. That air is everywhere, and so many of us have been breathing it in without even realizing. Unlearning those deeply ingrained messages, especially around a woman’s worth being tied to how she looks or what she provides for a man, is hard but so necessary. I appreciate your insight so much—this is exactly the kind of conversation we need to be having! 💛
This needed to be spoken out loud. You are a brave woman to do so. Some will...will...um...not like this at all because it challenges them to admit that the default expectations that our society places covertly in front of women are designed to keep us in our place. To keep us from filling roles that many feel are only designed for men. To keep us in line. Thanks for putting this out there.
This is so great. I love reading your articles! College feels like a lifetime ago, but your writing takes me right back. I always thought I wanted to be in a sorority, until I did the spring "informal" rush. The one I liked most and they liked me back (ha! Remember that feeling?!) did not like my best friend who was rushing with me. They also served such meager amounts of food for dinner, so I couldn't imagine having to eat there! And look at me now, writing about food & eating behavior.
Divorcing from that lifestyle this winter at the grand old age of 54 is the hardest thing I have ever done, but I am learning to be strong. The man and the money don’t equal happiness.
Tina, you are incredibly BRAVE, and I have so much respect for you!! Walking away from a life you’ve known—especially one that the world tells us should make us happy—is no small thing. Be proud of yourself and give yourself time. It takes so much strength to choose yourself, your peace, and your true happiness over comfort or expectation. I hope you’re giving yourself so much grace in this process. You are learning, growing, and becoming even stronger every day. Sending you so much love as you navigate this new chapter! ❤️
The reality is that there are life’s that many people live that is like this, the frog in cold but slowly heating to boiling water parable.
The trick is knowing when to jump out of it I guess🤷♂️