Oof… thank you for sharing your personal history and for processing it so publicly. You were harmed by white supremacy as well; it may serve the interests of a few but ultimately hurts all of us. For what it’s worth, I think you are doing an enormous amount of good with this content, including healing yourself. Keep going.
I hope you can offer your younger self more compassion- what a hard experience. Seems like you are actively working on voicing your disgust for it all now. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you, Vanessa. I am really trying to do the inner work and remind myself I was doing the best I could at the time. I appreciate your compassion towards me. ❤️
Thank you so much for reading, Berkeley!! All of my stories are true but I am really trying to work on the sensory details to bring people in. So your compliment means the world to me. P.S. The name Berkeley was our back-up girl name. I adore it! 😂
Thank you for sharing your story and shading light on something people outside the South wouldn't know otherwise. I understand your regret and shame but be kind to yourself. You did the best you could in a difficult situation, with who you were back then - young, isolated, insecure (like most of us are at 21). You now found your voice and your writing will help others.
Thank you, friend!! It was eye-opening to realize just how wide the culture gap is. My husband, who’s from the Midwest, had no idea what I was talking about and was genuinely shocked when I first told him this was a thing. But where I’m from in Louisiana, it’s completely normal. Wild!
I read your piece and remember that in first grade we sang Dixie instead of the National Anthem. As an adult I know how tucked up that was but oddly enough,I can relate to your friend because the indoctrination is and was very real!
Only those with quick minds and higher education can break that curse. Most don't have that mix .
Theresa, the indoctrination is so real! And even when you start to sense that something is off, most people around you may not see it that way. Trying to be more compassionate with myself because I know it’s human nature to stick with the crowd. Just some things are worth speaking up for! (I wasn’t brave enough back then)
Thank you, Sarah-Frances. Your honesty made me reflect on my own shameful complicity when I attended my Texas college’s Old South party in the late 1980s. I was obliviously silly much like your friend Ashley back then. I’d like to hope I’d be much braver today, much like you. By writing this piece, you’ve spoken a hard truth. That is worth something.
Trina, I always love seeing your name on here. I am so grateful for you reading my writing! I think we are just now starting to reflect on these traditions. My mom said the same thing as you lol.
I loved reading this. I don’t share your story but I do share the remembering of the myriad mis-steps of my youth. There is a specific courage in revisiting them and holding them up in the new light of this new day to see them yet again, yet wholly new. This is the why of writing, and most certainly, the why of sharing.
Missing the point. She mentions Spotify... 2008. This event did not take place in that time line. I'm from NC too and work for the Greek system at UNC.... so I think I know what I am saying is true. I'm tired of people using "stories" to sell their presence on social media. I still don't believe it happened in that era... I was there.
Meg, I genuinely don’t know what else to say here—are we reading the same thing? 1) Spotify launched in 2008. My story is set in 2011. The math checks out. 2) I’ve already said *multiple* times that this wasn’t a UNC frat—it was at another college nearby. Not sure where the confusion is coming from. 🤔
Jesus, Meg, give her a fucking break. It’s a true story, with names and dates and places changed to protect the ‘innocent.’ I was born and raised and lived in NC almost my entire life. More friends and colleagues than a I can count went to UNC in the 80s and 90s. If you think this kind of stuff didn’t or doesn’t happen at UNC and other southern schools, then you’re walking around with your eyes closed. Give her a rest and move on to something else.
But it's a STORY. And people might think it's fact. When you involve names of schools and organization you aren't telling a STORY anymore. You need to preface this with FICTION. Don't try to make yourself look or feel good by making others look bad.
Meg, this is a true story based on real events I lived through. I really did go to UNC, and my friend really did attend Old South at a nearby college. I’m not sure when you became the appointed fact-checker of my personal experiences, but here we are. Yes, some details were adjusted to protect identities (including an older photo)—but that’s responsible storytelling, not fiction. I’m simply sharing my experience and making sense of it. If that unsettles you, perhaps it’s worth asking yourself why.
Also, by coincidence my family is from Charleston... by that I mean settled Johns Island. Have relatives who have worked at the Rice Mill for decades. I have reached out to them to see if they can remember the last time KA had this function there. My problem is with your timeline. There are photos of this event in the UNC yearbook from the 70s. I think you have taken liberty with the timing of these events.
Meg, I am so sorry to see how triggered you are by this piece! I appreciate your attention to detail, but I changed the name of the exact location for a reason—precisely to avoid debates like this. And since you’re so invested, here’s another fun fact: I also changed names. Ashley isn’t really the name of my sorority sister!! 😱 You see, that’s the beauty of storytelling. The essence of the story remains true, even if some details are adjusted. But if fact-checking my personal experiences brings you joy, by all means don’t let me stop you!!
I'm from Chill. The last time I can find any record of KA doing this was in the 70s. And I have Wilson Library's archives memorized as far as Greek life is concerned. I have shared this with the chapter here.
This is bullshit. I’ve worked in the Greek system at UNC for 30 years. This doesn’t happen anymore and your reference to Spotify , founded on O6, really screws your timeline here. Total fiction and poorly written too.
I hadn't encountered your publication before but this piece really enthralled me, especially as a north-east transplant from a Southern family. Stellar- thank you so much for sharing!
ALLIE! What a beautiful compliment! Thank you so much for reading- I am honored you took the time!! If you are a southerner, than I KNOW you know what I am talking about lol.
Oof… thank you for sharing your personal history and for processing it so publicly. You were harmed by white supremacy as well; it may serve the interests of a few but ultimately hurts all of us. For what it’s worth, I think you are doing an enormous amount of good with this content, including healing yourself. Keep going.
Thanks so much, Sandra. I needed to hear this. I really appreciate you taking the time to read and acknowledging the nuance!
I hope you can offer your younger self more compassion- what a hard experience. Seems like you are actively working on voicing your disgust for it all now. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you, Vanessa. I am really trying to do the inner work and remind myself I was doing the best I could at the time. I appreciate your compassion towards me. ❤️
Being a Texan I can relate to this piece it is hard I live in Austin now but was an outsider growing up
Belonging is such a tricky topic to navigate!! Austin seems like a very accepting place though (at least from what I hear 😆) ❤️
This was really brave and powerfully written. I felt like I was in the car with you. I'm really enjoying your series and look forward to the next! <3
Thank you so much for reading, Berkeley!! All of my stories are true but I am really trying to work on the sensory details to bring people in. So your compliment means the world to me. P.S. The name Berkeley was our back-up girl name. I adore it! 😂
As I clicked on the link to this article, I muttered to myself “Lemme guess, KA?”
Aaaaaand BINGO! Good ol’ Kappa Kappa Kappa Alpha (KKKA) 😂
lol IYKYK 🤦♀️😂
Thank you for sharing your story and shading light on something people outside the South wouldn't know otherwise. I understand your regret and shame but be kind to yourself. You did the best you could in a difficult situation, with who you were back then - young, isolated, insecure (like most of us are at 21). You now found your voice and your writing will help others.
Thank you, friend!! It was eye-opening to realize just how wide the culture gap is. My husband, who’s from the Midwest, had no idea what I was talking about and was genuinely shocked when I first told him this was a thing. But where I’m from in Louisiana, it’s completely normal. Wild!
I read your piece and remember that in first grade we sang Dixie instead of the National Anthem. As an adult I know how tucked up that was but oddly enough,I can relate to your friend because the indoctrination is and was very real!
Only those with quick minds and higher education can break that curse. Most don't have that mix .
Theresa, the indoctrination is so real! And even when you start to sense that something is off, most people around you may not see it that way. Trying to be more compassionate with myself because I know it’s human nature to stick with the crowd. Just some things are worth speaking up for! (I wasn’t brave enough back then)
Thank you, Sarah-Frances. Your honesty made me reflect on my own shameful complicity when I attended my Texas college’s Old South party in the late 1980s. I was obliviously silly much like your friend Ashley back then. I’d like to hope I’d be much braver today, much like you. By writing this piece, you’ve spoken a hard truth. That is worth something.
Oh Kim, thank you for commenting!! It was a very confusing time. All we can try to do is improve ourselves. I am grateful for you! ❤️
Old South. Since I’m much older than you are, I don’t recall thinking much about it… my bad, that’s for sure. Proud of you.
Trina, I always love seeing your name on here. I am so grateful for you reading my writing! I think we are just now starting to reflect on these traditions. My mom said the same thing as you lol.
Beautiful writing about a painful memory, Sarah. My southern college also had the tradition of old
P.S. We are headed to LA next week! I think we will be in hammond on Wednesday. Would love to see you all if possible!
Yes! I I hope we can make that happen.
I loved reading this. I don’t share your story but I do share the remembering of the myriad mis-steps of my youth. There is a specific courage in revisiting them and holding them up in the new light of this new day to see them yet again, yet wholly new. This is the why of writing, and most certainly, the why of sharing.
And there’s no house at UNC that looks like this so what college did u lift this photo from???
Also, I purposely chose a photo that was not from the timeline to avoid trouble. I thought it was pretty obvious this is an outdated photo.
Hey Meg! If you’ll see, I said my friend went with a date on a college campus nearby.
Missing the point. She mentions Spotify... 2008. This event did not take place in that time line. I'm from NC too and work for the Greek system at UNC.... so I think I know what I am saying is true. I'm tired of people using "stories" to sell their presence on social media. I still don't believe it happened in that era... I was there.
Meg, I genuinely don’t know what else to say here—are we reading the same thing? 1) Spotify launched in 2008. My story is set in 2011. The math checks out. 2) I’ve already said *multiple* times that this wasn’t a UNC frat—it was at another college nearby. Not sure where the confusion is coming from. 🤔
That house picture is from your home state of LA... where I can see this still happening but not here at UNC.
Jesus, Meg, give her a fucking break. It’s a true story, with names and dates and places changed to protect the ‘innocent.’ I was born and raised and lived in NC almost my entire life. More friends and colleagues than a I can count went to UNC in the 80s and 90s. If you think this kind of stuff didn’t or doesn’t happen at UNC and other southern schools, then you’re walking around with your eyes closed. Give her a rest and move on to something else.
Thank you, Brian!!! 🫶 I’m really not sure what the issue is!! 🤷♀️
But it's a STORY. And people might think it's fact. When you involve names of schools and organization you aren't telling a STORY anymore. You need to preface this with FICTION. Don't try to make yourself look or feel good by making others look bad.
Meg, this is a true story based on real events I lived through. I really did go to UNC, and my friend really did attend Old South at a nearby college. I’m not sure when you became the appointed fact-checker of my personal experiences, but here we are. Yes, some details were adjusted to protect identities (including an older photo)—but that’s responsible storytelling, not fiction. I’m simply sharing my experience and making sense of it. If that unsettles you, perhaps it’s worth asking yourself why.
Also, by coincidence my family is from Charleston... by that I mean settled Johns Island. Have relatives who have worked at the Rice Mill for decades. I have reached out to them to see if they can remember the last time KA had this function there. My problem is with your timeline. There are photos of this event in the UNC yearbook from the 70s. I think you have taken liberty with the timing of these events.
Meg, I am so sorry to see how triggered you are by this piece! I appreciate your attention to detail, but I changed the name of the exact location for a reason—precisely to avoid debates like this. And since you’re so invested, here’s another fun fact: I also changed names. Ashley isn’t really the name of my sorority sister!! 😱 You see, that’s the beauty of storytelling. The essence of the story remains true, even if some details are adjusted. But if fact-checking my personal experiences brings you joy, by all means don’t let me stop you!!
I'm from Chill. The last time I can find any record of KA doing this was in the 70s. And I have Wilson Library's archives memorized as far as Greek life is concerned. I have shared this with the chapter here.
Name the school
This is bullshit. I’ve worked in the Greek system at UNC for 30 years. This doesn’t happen anymore and your reference to Spotify , founded on O6, really screws your timeline here. Total fiction and poorly written too.
Hmmm…so what are you going to do about it?
I hadn't encountered your publication before but this piece really enthralled me, especially as a north-east transplant from a Southern family. Stellar- thank you so much for sharing!
ALLIE! What a beautiful compliment! Thank you so much for reading- I am honored you took the time!! If you are a southerner, than I KNOW you know what I am talking about lol.